Monday, January 31, 2011

Sausage


"Can I have some Irish sausages please?" Asked Seamus.  I want to make a proper Irish hot-dog.

The shop assistant looked at him and enquired, "Are you Irish?"

"If I asked you for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or, if I asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked you for a Kosher hot dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or, if I asked you for a Taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican? Would you, eh? Would you?"

The assistant replied, "Well...er.... no".

"And if I asked you for some Bourbon whiskey, would you ask me if I was American? What about Danish bacon, would you ask me if I was Danish?"

"Well, I probably wouldn't," came the response.

Self-righteously, Seamus demanded, "Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Irish, just because I asked for Irish Sausages?"

"Because you're in a bloomin' shoe shop," replied the assistant.

Posted via email from katkimjac's posterous

Friday, January 28, 2011

How smart are you? Quiz - Sponsored Post

How smart are you? Quiz - Sponsored Post
How Smart Are You? Take this quiz to find out! #quizFriday

Animal Thoughts

SCAM ALERT!! WARNING!! READ LETTER!! SCAM!!

                                

DIXON MOTORS PLC

 

 

My name is Chris Elton and I found your resume on CareerBuilder and therefore, we presume you are actively looking for new openings. Below is the job description along with a brief introduction of our company.

 

Dixon Motors PLC is a UK based company; since the formation of Dixon Motors PLC in 2000, the company has developed a parts and distribution portfolio to create one of the UK’s strongest independent parts suppliers. Today, Dixon Motors PLC employs approximately 800 people covering all of UK as well as Eire.

Over the years, we have built a reputation second to none for new & used cars & parts

 

We are one of the largest salvage specialists in the UK in our field and pride ourselves in our exceptional customer service and huge range of parts. We have over 10000 cars and over a million parts on our shelves at any one time. We stock everything from engines and gearboxes, to door mirrors and aerials. All mechanical and body parts are available. With unbeatable prices, we guarantee to get excellent value for money plus our customers can save as much as 85% off dealer prices.             

Our dedicated sales team is helping our customers to locate the part they require.

 

Delivering the parts anywhere in the Europe and USA is not a problem as our mail order service covers the whole of the Europe and USA                      

 

The reason for our success is the fact that we are able to meet our customer’s demands wherever and whenever. We are very flexible and we can honor our orders when others cannot. This is due to the fact that we accept almost any type of payments and we have a very fast delivery system which combined with the great customer support we provide took us to where we are today. We take great pride in what we do because it is not always easy to satisfy all customer demands while still processing the orders very fast and receiving payments for the products in a timely manner. This is why we need you and bellow you will find the job description and what is asked of you.

 

Job description:

 

-While performing this job you will encounter no fees to be paid in advance whatsoever;

-No employee from our company will ever ask you for any sensitive information;

-You will not be involved in any kind of sales or contact with our customers;

-Everything you will do is legal under the European Union/United States and International laws as they are currently applied.

 

JOB RESPONSIBILITIES:

 

 

Receive payment from our customers. All checks will be written in your name.

 

Cashing the checks at your existing bank account

 

You will deduct 10% of every payment received.

 

Forward balance after deduction of percentage/pay to any of the offices you will be contacted to send payment to. (Payment is to be forwarded by Western Union Money Transfer).

 

 

You will receive 10% for every check processed in the first month. Within one month after receiving the first check you will get an extra $1,000 if you will manage to cash checks in a timely manner, also this bonus includes Internet bill, phone bill, gas/bus tickets. We will support all bills you have to pay for your Internet and cell phone. PLEASE NOTE: This bonus will apply after one month starting the day you will receive the first check.

 

After two months of working with us, a secondary bonus will apply. You will get 15% from all our sales. If everything works as we will expect and it will, you will be able to do up to $1200 - $1300 per week + the bonus of $1,000 every month.

 

Bonuses regarding, cashing checks are as follow:

 

Cash the check same day and you will receive a bonus of $150 for each check cashed.

Cash the check within 24 hours and you will receive a bonus of $100.

Cash the check within 48 hours and you will receive a bonus of $50

 

The salary will be paid to the Representative by cashier check.

 

New offices will be opened in the United States, as we recently launched our products to the US Market and most of our customers and we had a big impact working with US Customers. The estimated duration for opening the new offices is between 2 to 4 months. This is why we are trying to find someone capable to help us administrate all the US Area.

 

The today's situation on the financial market requires us to open and fill several of these job positions within our company; the job opening is that of a Representative within the US. This opening will help our company to reduce the time it takes to receive funding from orders that we receive each month. And we offer you one of the highest incomes on the market today and the minimal expenditures of time.

 

Presently with the number of orders we have we cannot put them on hold for fear of losing our customers, secondly we cannot cash these payments from the US soon enough, as international checks take about 28 working days to cash anywhere in Europe. We lose a lot of time and money each month because we have money transfer delays. Our clients could pay us where we want by sending checks to an US address. What we need you to do is to provide us an address where you can receive our customer checks. We need someone who can receive the money through this method of payment. Regarding the check process all you have to do is to receive the checks our customers will send to your address, take them to your bank, cash them and send the remainder amount to us after deducting all fees incurred and your commission. All fees for transferring the funds will be supported from our share. Bonuses will apply for cashing checks within 24 hours on receiving a check. You will always take your commission upfront.

 

We make direct contact for sales of products. Once orders are received and processed we deliver the product to our customer (usually through USPS). The customer receives and checks the product and proceeds to send the payment. We accept all forms of payment but most of our customers pay using Bank Checks and so to solve this problem and not lose any of our customers we have decided to open this new job position. This job is legal according to the U.S. legislation as it is today. Local money transfers take but a few hours, so it will give us a possibility to get customer's payment almost immediately

 

 

 

 

PAYMENT AND SALARY:

 

For example you receive a check as payment for 3000.00 USD, you deduct your commission (10%): 300.00 USD and then send to us the balance: 2700.00 USD.

In the first month, you will receive around 15-20 orders under 3,000.00 USD to process and after checking your performance records during that first month the orders you will receive, may increase from 3,000.00 upwards to 6,000.00 USD.

For example 20 transactions each around 3000.00 USD gives you a total income of 6,000.00 USD per month and after establishing a close co-operation with us you'll be able to operate with larger orders and you'll be able to earn more.

 

 

 

You will also deduct fees that are related to this job (gasoline, western union fees, bank commissions, etc) from our balance, not from your commissions. At first the checks you will receive will vary from: $500.00 to $3,000.00.

We will also send you a 1099 Form for tax deduction on your part. Our payments will be issued out in your name and you can have them cashed in your existing bank account, we don't accept newly created bank accounts because it slows the cashing process. Deduct your percentage and forward the balance to the company attorney manager via a western union money transfer, the name will be given to you later after cashing a payment.

This job takes only 3-7 hours per week. You'll have a lot of free time for taking up another job; you'll get good income and a regular job. This job is very challenging and you should understand it. We are looking only for the employee who satisfies our requirements and will be an earnest assistant.

 

We have health insurance and the 401K retirement savings plan as well as all the other standard benefits that a major company usually provides. Unfortunately we can only start talking about this after the first month has passed since you're working for us. We consider the first month as a trial period. In any case you do not have to pay for anything in advance; there are no hidden costs for performing this job. Any fee you might encounter will be deducted from our share of the funds before you send it to us.

 

You will receive next instructions step by step.

 

 

WORKING HOURS

 

This depends of how many checks you will receive but it won't take more than 2 hours to deposit the check and send an e-mail when the check arrives to you. Also when checks arrive we will send you further instructions and all details to complete the process with Western Union.

 

Unfortunately we cannot setup any interviews now we do not have any representatives in US. We will be able to come to meet within the next few months when the new offices will be opened in your area!

 

 

Please let me know if you are still interested and I will email you the contract.

If you have any questions please email.

Within 24 hours after we will receive this information we will forward you a copy of the contract you have to fill in, sign and e-mail back to us.

 

 

DIXON MOTORS PLC

Chris Elton

8 BAKER STREET

London

United Kingdom

W1U3LL

Posted via email from katkimjac's posterous

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I Don't Feel Stupid Anymore

10 most expensive cars - Sponsored Post

10 most expensive cars - Sponsored Post
Did you know that "1957 Ferrari 250 Testa Rossa" is the most expensive car. Check out the top 10 most expensive cars >>

Only 55 years ago

Who remember when...

Posted via email from katkimjac's posterous

Sunday, January 23, 2011

(More) Newish WalMart Photos... EGADS!

This is some more antics of people who shops at Wal-Mart... words escapes me... LOL...read the descriptions.. totally funny!

Posted via email from katkimjac's posterous

Elmo

Friday, January 21, 2011

I Like It Like That

I Like It Like That
interesting story of a woman... great music with lots of drama!

Fragrance Discovery Day - Sponsored Post

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Thursday, January 20, 2011

Tuesday, January 18, 2011